This morning I was out and about blog hopping and a memory was stirred.
My aunt Edna. What an amazing person she was. I never really thought so when she was alive - I was, I guess, too young and perhaps too close to her and accepted all she did as normal. And I think I probably looked at her and wondered if she felt that she had missed out on things. Edna never married. Edna never had a child. These things, I have always held as goals to achieve - and had I not achieved them in my lifetime, I felt I would have accomplished nothing.
In retrospect - I believe she accomplished just as much without ever marrying or raising a family.
In a world where men still ruled - my aunt became a manager of people. And she retired from a company after almost 40 years of service as a manager. She did this without a college degree. She was respected by all her co-workers and all of her managers. I worked with some of those same people. It was well known among those closest to her that her bark was MUCH worse than her bite! She had a very proper Bostonian upbringing and was a very prim and imperious person. However, that stern outward mien hid a heart of gold on a mushy interior.
She helped so very many people in her life - often giving chances to people that looked like they didn't deserve a chance. Sometimes she was right - and things worked out very well. And occasionally she was wrong - but not very often.
Edna had a girlfriend from her high school years. She and this woman, Mary, were both very involved in our church. They were part of the Ladies Guild. Many Sundays after mass would find both of them opening the donation envelopes and tallying the monies. Every summer, they worked the church bazaar selling raffle tickets. No trip to the carnival/bazaar was ever complete without a visit to Edna and "The Aunts".
Oh - right - the Aunts. Ok - history time - Mary, Ednas friend, had an aunt called Bubsy and a great aunt - Irene - with whom she lived. Mary had two brothers - Brud (the girls, when they were little, couldn't say "brother" - thus he became "Brud" and remained so to this day), Lorraine, and Vincent. Vincent became a priest and eventually an Monsigneur - so, he is known as Fr. Vin. Lorraine and Brud both married and had families. I never really knew Brud other than his name. Lorraine had 3 children. I knew them all well. First there was JM - oldest brother and called by his initials so not to confuse him with his dad. Then there was Elizabeth - or Buffy. And finally - there was Mary Kate. Mary Kate and I were the same age and went thru school together - thus, you can see there were ties to this family all around. Mary Kate has her own story - but I will save that for another post. So - now you know the Aunts.
The Aunts had another friend who was a local school principal. I cannot, at the moment, recall her name. In those days, there was an organization which offered special tour packages to teachers. This was to, hopefully, further their learning about other countries and cultures. Each year, the Aunts, and Edna and Fr. Vin and this school principal would take a trip. The first year, was a trip to Hawaii and California. Edna got to see Disney LAND shortly after Walt Disney opened it! She saw the Big Island before the BIG STORE CHAINS got in and .............well - in my opinion, kind of ruined it.
Edna was quite the photographer. She had several cameras - from a Brownie to a Kodak Instamatic to a Polaroid that developed its own pictures. And a slide projector. She had several 35mm - both with and without the flash. Sound familiar? My mom recently reminded me of this! LOL.
In any event, she brought me back a grass skirt that year. I think I was 3 or 4. Somewhere, there is a picture of me in her back yard attempting to dance the Hula to strains of Edna singing Aloha Oe wearing this grass skirt and a t-shirt!
Edna and her troupe made many many trips - most of them to Europe and usually 3 nations at a clip. They were all two weeks long. And each trip, she brought back something for each of her sisters, her parents, her nieces and nephews. One year, she went to Spain. On that trip, she bought each of the women in her family a strand of Majorcan pearls. As we girl cousins each turned 18, we received them to keep - but on special occasions (like my Confirmation) prior to that, we were allowed to wear them. They were truly beautiful!
On another trip, she brought back Ice Wool mittens and jackets for everyone. These were made in Iceland and were remarkably light and very very warm!!!!!!!!!!! They still have "thinsulate" beat in my opinion!
My aunt did not cook. She lived with her parents (thus the reason she always had new cars and furs and took many trips). My grandmother (another story) was the most wonderful cook and needlewoman - so Edna had no real need to cook.
Edna's first attempt at cooking (that I can remember) was Chicken Cordon Bleu. Amazingly, she did very well! It was absolutely delicious! Eventually, she took over New Years Day cooking. She did hors d'ouveres. She would put out quite a spread - including pigs in blankets, Swedish Meatballs, luncheon meats and rolls, shrimp with cocktail sauce, and scallops wrapped in bacon.
After her trip to Switzerland, she also put out Cheese Fondue. I had the pleasure of helping to make this once - and learned that buying it premade is definitely preferable! The recipe we had called for a double boiler, gruyere cheese, White Cooking Wine, Bols Kirsch Wasser..... and hours and hours and hours of stirring and stirring and stirring......................... UGH! But when it was done and in the fondue pot - OH what fun! You see - she also brought back the tradition with it. If you dropped your bread in the pot, you had to kiss everyone! Many many kisses from that!!!!!!!!!!
Each of us were exposed to wine too. If we were the "lucky" one who got to spend Friday night at Grandmas, Edna would allow us to share a small glass of wine with her on Friday night after work. Usually it was Catawba Pink. About a thimble full - but we thought it was COOL! Later on, she discovered Cold Duck. Chilled. To my childs taste buds, Catawba Pink was MUCH PREFERABLE as it was a very sweet wine, the Cold Duck was slightly bitter (dry).
All through my childhood, Edna really led quite a charmed life. She went to the beach every Saturday during the summer with her friend Mary. A big treat for us was being allowed to walk all the way (100 yards) down the crowded beach to visit with Edna and Mary and lay on the beach with her and borrow her colored sun shades! These were little gizmos that looked like two plastic spoons attached by a nose piece - they fit nicely over your eyes and kept the sun out.
Because of Edna, I knew what the crater of Mauna Loa looked like at sunrise from a plane window, saw the deep blue-green of the Aegean Sea long before Mamma Mia was filmed there, knew where the Matterhorn really was (and that Walt Disney had copied it for one of his rides at Disney Land), saw the tiny streets of Rome, knew that Donkey Rides into the Grand Canyon were fun but very painful!, knew where Llardo's, Hummels, and Waterford Crystal all came from and how they were made and how to tell the difference between a "Master"s work and an "Apprentice" work in each (yes, there really is a distinct difference!). Because of Edna, I knew who Al Hirt was (and LOVED Java!), I knew what early 60's Jamaican Rock sounded like (If I had the wings like a dove!), and fell in love with Grasshopper Pie (whipped cream with Green Creme De Menthe in a chocolate graham cracker crust). I knew what 78 records were and heard the original recording of "Domenique" by the Singing Nun! Because of Edna, I read every Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, Hardy Boys, Ruth Fielding, Patty O'Neal, and Judy Bolton book from printed from 1932 thru 1940. I developed a passion for the printed word that exists to this day. From Edna, we all learned how to cut sandwich meat so that it fit the bread perfectly, and how to have the deli slice the cheese very thin and repackage every deli purchase so that it looked like it was still on the block! We also learned how to print each letter of the alphabet in perfect blocks so they fit precisely inside those little boxes on forms.
In her later years, her life was not quite so charmed. In another blog, I wrote a bit about taking care of my grandparents and how the whole family helped to keep them at home all their lives. Edna lived with them and thus was instrumental in the orchestration of such. She moved out of her bedroom and into my grandparents room where she slept with my grandmother. My grandfather slept in a bed in the living room. While Edna went to work, my mother and her sister alternated the days taking care of the grandparents until Edna came home at night.
Edna spent over ten years traveling no further than her office or the grocery store. Not once do I ever remember her complaining. She did not attend a play. She only went out to a company dinner on the very rare occasions that my mother or her sister could stay overnight with their parents. She no longer even went to Pennsylvania to visit Fr. Vin with the Aunts. For someone who had spent the majority of her adult life doing exactly as she pleased, this had to be a very big let down. The chains of caring for two elderly people had to weigh on her very heavily. But, this never occurred to me till recently because not once in all those years did I ever hear her say one word about it. She simply accepted that this was what she had to do and did it.
When they passed away, she was once again free to do as she pleased.
But not for long.
In the fall of 1988, she was diagnosed with 3rd stage Pancreatic Cancer. To this day, there is no cure. They did surgery to reroute the gastric system to bypass the pancreas. This gave her a bit more time, but not enough.
That last Christmas, my now x-husband and I went to her home and put up her Christmas tree. She was determined that Christmas would be no different for our family than it ever was. She loved the color white. Most of her cars were white with white interiors. And her Christmas tree had nothing but white lights! The decorations that she put on she had made herself. Today, those ornaments decorate my tree. We both can still hear the echos in our mind of "It needs more lights!".
The best memory I have of Edna though, was St. Patricks Day in 1989. Edna took my mother and I out for dinner at an Irish restaurant. The maternal side of my family is as Irish as the day is long and no holiday made Edna as happy as St. Paddy's day! Edna was having trouble eating by that time. She had her good days and others..........well..... But, being St. Paddys day, it must be celebrated! Edna and my mom had the Corned Beef and cabbage. Not being much for cabbage, I thought I would try Irish Stew - which I had never in my life had. I will never forget the look on my aunts face when I finished the last drop of stew and pronounced it the most WONDERFUL dish I had ever had! I'm not sure why - Edna's face just lit up with joy at that pronounciation! I remember that happy, almost elf-like smile and that is what I see when I picture her today. I think because Edna was most happy making other people happy - and she knew that she had made me happy!
Edna passed away in the fall of 1989 - just a day before her 62nd birthday. She lived just long enough to see me engaged (and threaten my fiancee with breaking his kneecaps with her cane from heaven if he did ANYTHING to make me unhappy!), and her first great-nephew (my brothers son) born.
The night she passed, my brother and I went to see her for a short time - she had lapsed into a coma and we heard the "death rattle". The hospice nurses had told us it would not be long..... My brother and I were living in her house at that time. He was downstairs in my grandparents old bedroom. Around 10:35, I was upstairs on the phone with my fiancee. The lights went off. The phone went dead. For almost a minute - there was NOTHING but pitch black upstairs. I ran downstairs - and asked my brother if everything was alright - he had noticed nothing. I ran back upstairs and, with a shaking voice - asked if the fiancee was still on the line - in his voice I heard fear - he told me that he had heard nothing at all for a bit........... And then pure calm as I realized what had happened a fact my mother confirmed the next day. The time of complete darkness on only ONE FLOOR of Ednas home (which was not wired so that the second floor was separate from the first) ... was the time of her passing.
Fr. Vin drove in from Pennsylvania and was given permission to say her funeral mass at a local church.
I always wished that she could have lived long enough to meet my daughter. But I believe she is enjoying Teresa's growing years anyway. I miss her to this day. As do many who were affected by her. Her life was special and wonderful!
Thank you all for taking this trip down memory lane with me and sharing the spirit of a woman to remember!
